“I’ll Always Remember You Sweetheart”
Guest blogger, Mark Bunyan shares with us his song ‘Ill Always Remember You Sweetheart’, describing his emotional performance at the funeral of Mike Harvey, partner of 30 years to Ray Harvey-Amer. Mark was a good friend of Ray aka Mother Molly and was canonised by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in 1995 as St Mark of the Musical Tendency or St Mark of the Lark for short. Composer, writer and cabaret performer who recently performed Staying In and Coming Out on Zoom for gay pride. It is our pleasure to share Mark’s blog with you all.
I’d already known Ray for some years when he phoned me on January 4th 1990, to let me know that his partner Mike, whom we knew was ill, had finally died of AIDS the previous week. He then asked if I would sing my song “I’ll Always Remember You Sweetheart” at the funeral.
The song tells of two gay men having to say goodbye at the station during the First World War without being able to publicly express any emotion, bar shaking hands and quietly humming their favourite song. Ray was insistent that this was to be a paid gig for me; although he knew I would have willingly performed for both him and Mike, I could tell that it was important to him that I get paid for it. Not wanting to get into any kind of argument, I suggested the compromise that he make the payment in some other way and we quickly agreed that he’d give me a collection of spring bulbs, to include crocuses, for our garden.
As soon as I got off the phone, I told my partner Andrew the news and expressed some trepidation about singing an extremely emotional song at the funeral of someone I knew and liked. Andrew took a second and said “It’s a gig with a box.” And indeed, with Ray’s understanding and agreement, that’s how it turned out.
The service was in a church and I kept completely out of the way, not joining in and keeping my mind completely blank till the cue to walk up to the grand piano and sing my song – which I performed that day as well as I ever have – then quietly walked off and disappeared till the service was over. From the church I was kindly chauffeured briefly to the crematorium and then finally to the ACE centre for a reception, part of me feeling a bit of a charlatan. From all the complimentary remarks from people I knew and from people I didn’t, it was clear that there hadn’t been a dry eye in the house during the last verse of the song. But – I keep telling myself – I had the idea and the emotional imagination for the song in the first place and if it helped a release of emotion, which it obviously did, then it was something to be proud of. From all the people who approached me at the ACE centre, it clearly had had the impact that Ray wanted.
And I treasured those bulbs - even though, not being the best gardener, I didn’t manage to make them last anything like as long as my proud friendship with Mother Molly of the Claphouse who was to arrange my canonisation by the Sisters some years later.
Mark Bunyan
Guest blogger for Queer+ Croydon Exhibition
Want to know more about Mark Bunyan?
Listen to his interview on his 'Life in Entertainment and so Much More’ here or visit his website www.markbunyan.com.
See below for another rendition of “I’ll Always Remember You Sweetheart” featuring Phil Lee Thomas
